


This love: it is a burning sun

by I_am_sorry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Childhood Sweethearts, Freeform, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Kingkawa!, M/M, Pining, Political, Queeniwa-chan!, Soul-bond, Soulmarks, Soulmates, Underage-Marriage, mentions of illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_sorry/pseuds/I_am_sorry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A soulmate is someone who will be bound to you as long as you live. Everyone in this world has one and a unique soul-mark of your soulmate’s name brands your skin. However, for those who never get a mark, life is really unfortunate.</p>
<p>The queen of Aobajousai doesn’t have one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This love: it is a burning sun

**Author's Note:**

> This is… Well I don’t know what this is, really. I mean I know Iwa-chan is supposed to be a knight but this idea wouldn’t go away.
> 
> Now with fanart by Apollonie in here: http://apodraws.tumblr.com/post/137030027052/i-have-fallen-into-iwaoi-hell-and-i-cant-get-out
> 
> Betaed by Keffy.  
> (2017, April.)

Iwaizumi Hajime is eight years old when he first sees him –the person who will rule over Aobajousai, the future king of the supreme empire among the lands. But for now, the king is merely a boy. Hajime thinks there’s nothing regal or majestic in that dumb expression of his.

Hajime learns that the boy has a name (Oikawa Tooru) and a really good set of lungs if the incessant wailing is anything to go by.

“Hey,” he tries to speak to the other through the noise, “are you alright?”

The boy looks up at him with watery eyes and a scrunch up nose, “It hurts.”

Hajime sighs, thinking of course it hurts, the scrap on the boy’s knee looks nasty (red and yellow at its center with swollen purple at its sides). “Do you want me to call your mom?”

Hajime supposes this would mean the queen, whom his mother had advised to be really polite to, because ‘They are letting us stay with them in this enormous palace, isn´t that nice, Hajime-chan?’

“No,” the boy says franticly with wild eyes, “she told me to not climb the tree. She will get mad at me for disobeying.”

Hajime places his bug-catching net at the ground and extends his right hand. “I’ll take you to my mom then,” he utters easily, “she’ll know what to do.”

The boy nods, looking much more relieved.

Hajime’s mom is a kind woman with a beautiful smile and knowing eyes. “Your highness, what can I do for you?” She has a soft voice and Hajime likes to think that the sound of it resembles the pleasant tingling of chimes.

“It hurts.” The boy motions at his knee –he is biting his lower lip to keep from crying.

“I’ll clean it first,” his mother declares firmly. “It might sting for a bit.”

The boy lowers his eyes and sits where Hajime’s mother tells him to. He has to be still for his treatment.

“Hajime-chan, why don’t you hold his hand,” his mother coaxes gently, “so then it won’t hurt as much.”

He wants to protest, but the words die on his lips as soon as his mother smiles at him. ‘Be kind to everyone Hajime-chan’ is what she always says to him. So he swallows and goes to grab the other boy’s hand –it’s clammy with sweat and it has some scratches from the fall.

To the boy’s credit he holds himself together enough –even though, Hajime notes, the boy really, really wants to flinch away from his mother ministrations. The hand he is holding trembling slightly every time Hajime´s mother cleans the wound a little bit more.

In the end his mother bandages the wound with care and kisses the boy’s knee lightly to make the pain go away. “Is there anything else I can do for you, your highness?” She asks sweetly.

“Tooru.” The boy looks shyly at her –still not letting go of Hajime’s hand. “Please ma’am, you can call me Tooru.”

She nods happily charmed with the little prince and Hajime scowls.

“Let go,” Hajime says and tries to free his hand from the other’s grasp.

“Hajime don’t be mean to Tooru-chan.”

“Hajime?” The boy (now known as Tooru) looks at him now -eyes big with wonder, still a little damp from all the crying he had done before. “Hajime-chan, I hadn’t seen you around here before.”

“We arrived yesterday,” His mother answers for him. “My husband is now serving your father in the military”

Tooru blinks. “But my father is at war.”

Hajime is surprised that Tooru knows as much.

His mother looks sympathetic at this. “Yes. We are allies now, my husband and you father, they are fighting side by side in the front.”

Hajime’s father is a colonel with a whole army under his care. However, to Hajime’s understanding, the army is no longer theirs – it belongs to Tooru’s father now. Hajime’s mother had said it was necessary if they wanted to survive.

“I’ll be a colonel too,” he adds to the conversation feeling very proud at the prospect of a life in the militant following his father footsteps; he can’t wait to make it happen already. He has this dream of being the best – he wants to learn how to fight and how to win.

“I’m sure you will manage,” his mother smiles at him and then tosses him out of her room with the little prince trailing after him, “but for now go play outside with Tooru-chan.”

She waves a cheerful goodbye.

Hajime doesn’t mind, because it is a good day for him to catch bugs anyway and he has barely explored one of the seven gardens the palace withholds.

“Hajime-chan?” Tooru mumbles bashfully behind him.

“Hmm?”

“Can I play with you?”

Hajime turns to look at him and after a moment shrugs, “Sure.”

Tooru smiles and that’s how they begin.

\---

“A soulmate,” his private teacher lectures, “is someone who will be bound to you as long as you live. Everyone in this world has one, and your soulmate’s name will be branded on your skin as proof. You will be turning ten soon, the age in which the mark generally appears. However, it is not uncommon for children to get their marks earlier or later than the age of ten.”

Hajime blinks when his teacher stops.

“Are you listening?”

In reality, he is not listening –he is nine and he still finds that kind of thing gross. He likes to play outside and catch cicadas in jars. He also likes playing hide and seek with Tooru and watch his mother when she picks up flowers from the sixth garden to take them to the queen (as a great friend).

“I am,” he lies and hopes his lessons end soon.

Tooru and Haijime are not allowed to go outside the palace with the war still at its worst, although it’s not as if they haven’t tried. He wonders if today is going to be the day when they run and successfully pass the gates or be another day of failure.

“However for those who never get a mark, life is really unfortunate-”

Hajime looks through the tinted-blue window on his right – he sees Tooru in his morning lesson of horse riding. He lets a small smile tug at his lips at the sight because he knows Tooru is scared but is trying to put a brave front for the queen, who is watching him under the shade of a big tree.

“You can go now,” his teacher finally says, giving up on the lessons.

He nods and runs toward the horse riding field, hopeful that Tooru will be done with his lessons soon. Hajime doesn’t care about anything else but adventures, cicadas, the sun, and his mother laughter.

The talk about soulmates is scarcely in his head – it is but a whisper of things he will be forgetting soon. He will worry about soulmates once he hits the right age, but for now he favors the adventures that await him today.

\---

Four weeks after that lesson, something changes.

A knock on his door late at night alerts him that something is wrong. He opens it as soon as he can, worried for his father that hasn’t come back from the war yet. Hajime expects bad news or his mother crying face but is greeted instead with Tooru’s anxious look.

Hajime breaths again – it is not a messenger telling him that his father is dead.

“What is it?” He asks letting the other inside the room.

“Hajime-chan,” Tooru fidgets a little with his hands. “I think -- I think something is wrong with me.”

Hajime frowns, something like worry clawing at his chest, “Do you feel sick?”

Tooru shakes his head. “M-my back prickles. It started some hours ago and it hasn’t stopped and… I- I don’t know what to do!”

“You didn’t fall or something?” He asks, just to be sure.

“No,” Tooru wails. Hajime thinks Tooru will start crying his heart out any moment now.

“We should look at it,” Hajime ponders long and hard. “maybe if we splash cold water on your back”

His friend nods at the suggestion and lifts up his night shirt. Tooru turns around so Hajime can wash his back. However, Hajime stares and forgets how to talk  
– a lesson about soulmates from some weeks ago resonates through his ears.

“Well?” Tooru asks impatiently.

“It’s a mark,” Hajime finally says quietly looking at the elegant letters in his friend’s back – black ink over fair skin of Tooru’s left scapula.

Tooru’s eyes widen at this. “What?”

“A mark.” Hajime repeats faintly.

“What?!” Tooru snaps his head– urgently trying and failing to read the letters on his back. “Like the soulmate mark? That mark? What does it say? Who?”

Hajime swallows hard.

“Hajime!”

He knows what it says but he can’t quite voice it out aloud. “You should probably go to your mom.”

Tooru looks at him affronted. The queen and him are not close, and Tooru has confessed to think she doesn’t love him or Tooru’s father. His memory always struggles to recall any hint of affection from his mother.

However, Hajime has seen the queen’s mark, all stylish and pink in one of her fingers (the middle one).

So he thinks Tooru is wrong because the mark doesn’t lie – there’s no way, the queen doesn’t love the king, right?

The queen-

He pales at the meaning of that word.

“Hajime-chan,” Tooru is begging now. “please tell me what it says”

The letters shine black and elegant when he reads them out clearly. There’s a moment of silence and then Tooru stills.

After that his friend shifts, turns around to finally face him and tosses himself at Hajime. Tooru hugs him tightly and nuzzles his cheek, squealing with delight. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone better,” he is laughing happily in Hajime’s ear. “You are my favorite person after all.”

They are nine (just kids, really) and too young to know what love entails. Yet Tooru readily gives all his affection to one person.

\---

Hajime sometimes wonders how his life would have turned out to be if he and the little prince hadn’t met. Oikawa Tooru is just twelve but sometimes he acts as if he has more years on him than that.

He is whispering softly in Hajime’s neck right now –holding him tightly with only the moon as their witness. They are in Hajime’s favorite garden (the fourth one), sprawled on the grass, Tooru heavy over him.

It’s the night of Hajime’s birthday and the war has reached its stilling point. Aobajousai has reached an agreement with the other side of the conflict, but many sacrifices have been made during the war. Tooru’s father is among the dead.

Tooru’s coronation will happen tomorrow.

It is too much, too soon.

Hajime’s father has been reported as missing and presumed alive. The presumption hasn’t given the Iwaizumi family much hope. For all Hajime knows, his father could be dead, and his mother has been inconsolable for days.

Even with all that chaos and uncertainty, Tooru holds onto his beloved and presses the same words over and over again in Hajime’s neck; he whispers words of unwavering love and promises of forever.

Tomorrow Tooru will be a king, and with that Hajime might have to say goodbye to his dreams. Because just after the coronation, a wedding will take its course, a new queen will be proclaimed and-

And Hajime will have to do what is expected of him.

“I love you,” Tooru says quietly, still hiding in Hajime’s neck.

‘No. No, you don’t’ Hajime wants to snap back at him. ‘You just think you do because my name is written on your back’

But he doesn’t and stays silent instead; he closes his eyes not wanting to see the endless sky stretching above them anymore. Hajime is twelve and he will be married tomorrow to the new Aobajousai king. Hajime is twelve and his skin is still unmarked, but that doesn’t matter because Tooru has Hajime’s name on his back and that is enough – for the queen, for the council, and for Tooru himself.

Hajime is not sure if is enough for him.

\---

Many people crowd him when the wedding is done –he is suffocating under all the layers of the ceremonial robes and he is starting to get irritated at it. Hajime has to accept that he doesn’t have the best of the tempers.

Tooru embraces the attention much better, smiling and talking with the guests easily – but something about his demeanor seems wrong. The change has been happening slowly but Hajime has noticed, lately Tooru’s smiles have been evolving from genuine to deceitful. Tooru is tense all the time now, trying too hard and laughing too loud.

It is probably the strain of being named king at such young age.

Hajime sighs and excuses himself from all the small talk he has been forced to endure.

“Hey,” he says over the exited laughter of the guests that are crowding the new king.

Tooru looks up at him then and smiles (Hajime can tell this one is a little more real).

“Hey,” He repeats. “You haven’t eaten anything yet”  
All the people around Tooru turn quiet at Hajime’s voice. They look curiously at him; some approving of his concern and some disapproving of the way he has hastily interrupted the king.

“Hajime-chan,” Tooru tilts his head. “Are you hungry?”

Hajime shakes his head. “I’ve already eaten but you haven’t, so we need to be going.” It is an order that Hajime expects Tooru to comply. The guests look at the monarch and calculate his actions; a king does not have to obey anyone orders (not even the queen’s) and if Tooru does as Hajime says, he will be proven weak.

Hajime doesn’t give a damn about that; he just wants the idiot to eat because Tooru looks tired and edgy, and Hajime is pretty sure he hasn’t eaten anything since the morning.

“Whatever my love wants,” Tooru coos amusedly.

The guests laugh at the king’s charm and at Hajime’s very, very red face –Tooru has managed to turn their ill intentions around and Hajime would be surprised if not for all the embarrassment he is experiencing.

“You are insufferable,” Hajime grumbles once they are alone and looking at the banquet (Tooru has picked cheese and grapes finally).

“Now that we are married, you are going to feed me with your fingers, right? Hajime-chan?” Tooru asks with a teasing tone in his voice –he just does it to piss Hajime off.

Hajime snorts. “You wish.”

Tooru laughs and starts eating on his own. It’s a relatively quick affair and once it’s done, the king offers his hand to him. “It’s time for the dance,” he says lightly, as if it doesn’t hold any importance to him beyond protocol, but Hajime knows better-

It is important. Tooru has told him time and time again how his father used to tell him that the first official dance between the king and the queen served as a link to strengthen the soulmate bond.

Hajime is still unmarked and doesn’t know if it will work the same, but if it means so much to Tooru he can try.

And so they do dance: it’s graceful from Tooru’s part and a little bit clumsy on Hajime’s end, but the guests clap and his (Hajime grimaces at the word) husband looks happy enough so he thinks he did well.

\---

Hajime’s been married for two years and he likes to think he has adapted well into the (husband-queen-caretaker-sane-if-slightly-irritated) role. If he was more of a pretentious person (like the king) he would even say that he has been amazing, but instead he admits sometimes he fails.

Like today.

Hajime has let the previous queen, the council, and even Tooru to make decisions for him before: taking more etiquette classes (the more he learns about it, the more his language begins to root – fuck etiquette), or taking some ‘maidens’ as company (he accepted Kindaichi and Kunimi, just because Tooru had insisted it was part of the protocol) but today…

Today he had just snapped. Of all the things, Hajime had yelled at Tooru over the color of the napkins for the ball that they were going to have that night. Fucking napkins, he wanted fucking yellow and why it was that everyone had been set on lavender to begin with?

And the king (the bastard) had had the nerve to laugh at his face, saying “You are so cute when you get angry over things like this, Hajime-chan!”

Hajime had turned around after that and walked towards his (their) room with all the intention of not showing up at the court throughout the day or night. He is thinking about making it a whole week when someone knocks at his door (the royal chamber’s door, Tooru’s door).

“What?” He barks at the noise. He is relaxing on the bed and watching at the ceiling, trying to not think about yellow and how it is better than lavender, because it definitely is.

“Hajime-chan,” Tooru says after a while and there is mirth on his voice even if tries to quench it down. “Everything will be yellow tonight so please open the door.”

“Go away.”

“Please Hajime-chan,” Tooru says with a more placating tone, “I’ll paint the whole palace in yellow if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t want shit” (Ha! Fuck etiquette).

“Will you come to the ball?”

“No.”

“But you have to be there! Today is our second anniversary.”

“I don’t care!”

“Hajim—“

“Is not as if I have something to celebrate tonight, who would be happy to be married to a horrible person like you anyway?!”

There’s a silence after that and Hajime is starting to regret his last set of words. He bits his lower lip, frowning and finally deciding get up –he is hoping that Tooru is still there once he opens the door.

The wooden door creaks loudly (in contrast with the heavy silence that is choking him with guilt) when he finally pushes it open.

The king is indeed still there, looking at his feet.

“Tooru,” Hajime calls nervously to get his attention. “I-I… I didn’t—“

“It’s okay, Hajime-chan.” Tooru answers slowly (he is facing Hajime now, eyes no longer down and he has a really strained smile plastered on his lips).

Hajime hates that kind of smile. “I’m going to be there tonight, at the ball.” It’s not an apology but maybe Tooru will understand what he is trying to imply.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want, I can explain you are not feeling well but—”

Hajime shakes his head, “I’ll be there.”

“Could you come with me right now? I want to give you something; I mean it was supposed to be ready before today but it got delayed. I should have given it to you yesterday, but it wasn’t done.”

Hajime nods and closely follows Tooru, not really knowing what else to say.

The king finally stops outside in the fourth garden Hajime loves so much –the one with all the little lavender flowers and green foliage. Time seems to stop in this garden, its everlasting beauty captured like a picture in a frame. All the other gardens never seem to stay still, always changing with new flowers, new smells and colors but not this one, Hajime’s garden (as Tooru sometimes calls it) is always the same.

It’s starting to get dark and the chilly air that comes with the night makes him shiver a bit. Tooru sits on the grass in the middle of the garden, giving him a clear view of the stars above him. Tooru doesn’t seem bothered by the cold. Hajime sits beside him.

“My father told me once,” Tooru starts (his gaze lost over the vast sky), “that the aquamarine jewel is Aobajousai official stone because it symbolizes the purity of crystalline waters, truth, and trust. Old legends say this kingdom was built over water because the first king fell in love with the sea, but of course the sea doesn’t belong to anyone and so the king just got his heart broken; it broke in little pieces and so the aquamarine quartz was born.”

Tooru stops at that and shifts a little searching for something inside the pockets of his clothes. “My father… he also said that because of this, the aquamarine gemstone represents the heart of the king. He gave my mother earrings with this stone before going to war hoping…always hoping-” Tooru’s voice sounds bitter explaining something Hajime doesn’t think is his place to judge. “I have never once seen her use them, the earrings.”

“You don’t know her reasons, Tooru.” Even to his own ears, his protest seems weak.

His friend just sighs. “Anyway, I want to give you this.”

Hajime stares at the chain Tooru holds expectantly on his hand. It’s white silver with an aquamarine pendant.

“Will you accept it?” Hajime doesn’t think Tooru is just talking about the gift.

Hajime nods and at that his husband smiles honestly.

“Hajime, one more thing.”

Hajime has just finished placing the chain over his neck, the pendant hanging over his heart. He looks up and after a moment, he is not really surprised to feel Tooru’s lips over his own. The kiss is soft, barely there, but it is his first kiss and his first kiss with Tooru so he guesses it’s alright.

He tries to fight the blush away.

When it’s finally over, the king just looks at the stars again. He stays silent for the rest of the hour they remain in the garden.

That night when the ball is over and they can finally go to rest (with Tooru snuggling close to him) Hajime wonders why the idiot drooling on his neck didn’t mention a thing about the aquamarine stone also meaning letting go and why their first kiss seemed more like an ending than a beginning.

\---

Tooru doesn’t say ‘I love you’ now as often as before. Hajime reasons that the king is growing up, after all, they will be turning fifteen soon. Nonetheless, Tooru still enjoys flustering him flippantly with endearments in front of the court or in balls or in any public gatherings he finds worthy enough.

It’s the other kind of sweet nothings Tooru used to whisper to him that have stopped – like the ones on the night before they got married or in the early hours of dawn in their room with Hajime hardly awake.

“Why do you look so troubled my dear?” His mother asks pulling him out of his earlier distressing thoughts.

“Just thinking.” He usually has many obligations to attend, but there are days like this one where he manages to rest and spend at least half of the day with his mother. She is still as kind and beautiful as Hajime remembers her, albeit with a constant sadness that never seems to die away. After all these years, she is still mourns the demise of her beloved husband.

Hajime’s father was declared dead after two years of searching for him. His mother had smiled less since then.

“About what?” She is working on a handmade quilt, knitting it together with expert dexterity. They are in her bedroom, sitting on the expensive carpet Tooru gifted her in the past month (the king had seen her habit of sometimes sitting on the floor to knit and he had told Hajime how it surely was uncomfortable for a lady to work feeling the biting cold of the tiles pressing to her legs).

Hajime helps her to unravel her threads at times. “I’m almost fifteen and I still don’t have the soulmate mark.”

“Hajime,” she says softly putting down her work for a moment, “I’m sure you will get it soon.”

He doesn’t think that’s true because the time-limit for the soul marks to appear is at the age of thirteen. He is two years above that age already.

“Tooru has been acting weird recently.” Hajime doesn’t want to explain more than necessary (the I love you’s the king doesn’t say anymore are unsettling him more than he expected) but—

“Is that what this is about?”

Hajime lowers his gaze and stares at his hands (colorful threads tangled in his fingers)

“I don’t know,” he answers sincerely because he really doesn’t.

\---

Kunimi comes to fetch him from his mother chambers after midday, apologizing and saying that he is needed in the king’s reading room with urgency. Hajime thinks that if Tooru is just calling him to make one of those ridiculous requests he always asks from him, he will whack him in the head. The last time he had whined, “I want Hajime-chan to sit on my lap as the counselor reads the correspondence. Because I won’t be as bored when I see the pretty red on his cheeks!”

For once, however, he is wrong. Not only the counselor and the king, but also the head of the military, the accountant, and two strategists of the intelligence network stop their heated argument to bow politely at him when Hajime enters the reading room.

Tooru is not smiling, although he does look somewhat bored –sitting on his writing table with his head resting over his right hand.

“Hajime-chan,” Tooru declares gently. “I’m sorry for interrupting the time you have with your mother.”

Hajime nods and sits in one of the spare chairs the room has. He sensibly chooses the chair closer to Tooru, just a few centimeters away from the king.

“Nekoma’s army has been moving east. They have been reaching our borders, and we don’t know their intentions yet but it could very well be an act of war,” the head of the military explains to him in a slightly bothered tone (as if he can’t believe he has to explain this to someone other than the king himself).

“Aobajousai has enough funds to go at war again if your majesty wishes,” the accountant adds.

“Or we could wait for more information,” the counselor advises.

Tooru waves his left hand in a dismissive motion, but there’s something calculating and cold in his gaze as he speaks, “They think we are weak from the previous war and that we are an easy target because I’m young and unexperienced. Nekoma’s people are said to be a little bit too greedy sometimes.”

The five men seem surprised at the king’s bluntness, but take it in a good way. “What should we do then, your highness?” One of the strategists asks.

“We will crush their army as a warning to all the other kingdoms who try to intend the same.”

‘Ruthless’ Hajime thinks as Tooru finishes speaking.

“Who will direct our tropes then?” The other strategist tilts his head. It seems obvious that Tooru is too young to go and win a war as head commander.

“Me of course.”

“But your highness— ”

Hajime had suspected as much. “Why I’m here, then?” He sounds displeased and surely enough he is starting to get angry. Tooru is an idiot to think his best choice of action is to go to war. He has learned it the hard way, but the truth is that there is nothing heroic in useless fighting and wasted blood (he understands now that his childhood dreams were just that –dreams).

“For what purpose did you call me if you already know what you are going to do?”

“Hajime-chan, please try to understand.”

“What?”

Tooru sighs, “I’m leaving the inner problems of the kingdom for a year to you.”

The counselor looks startled at that. “Your highness, a war is never—“

“A war takes more than a year,” Hajime says harshly, “you know it well enough.”

The war that had taken both of their fathers has lasted five years since Karasuno had proven to be a formidable opponent.

“This one will,” Tooru declares coolly.

“Your highness can’t be the head of the army,” the head of the military argues. “It’s too dangerous and if something were to happen to you… you are the only successor of royal blood that Aobajousai has.”

“Unless your highness starts picking a mistress to plant his seed before the army leaves,” the counselor opines, but avoids Hajime’s gaze at all costs.

Hajime had expected that as well – just not this soon. Soulmate or not, there are things he can’t do for Tooru. The kingdom needs an heir, and so the king will have to look for a mistress or two. It’s a common occurrence when the queen is unable to bear children.  
Hajime doesn’t know what he is supposed to think about this theme.

But suddenly he feels very nauseous and slightly faint.

“What are you saying old man,” Tooru scrunches his nose up in disgust, “I’m too young to be a father.”

“But your hig—“

“What?” Tooru narrows his eyes daring the other man to argue with him.

In the end no one can go against the king wishes –even if said king turns to be a petulant, spoiled little shit, Hajime notices.

“It will be done as your majesty orders.”

“We will be leaving in a week” Is all Tooru says to the five men before dismissing them with a flippant ‘bye bye’. They all bow after this and leave them alone in the reading room.

“Hajime-chan,” Tooru says slowly, eyes glazed over as he watches his advisors depart, “sometimes you look at me like my mother used to look at my father.”

Hajime actually flinches at the words. It hurts – it hurts because suddenly they are children again and Tooru is confiding in him another of the reasons why he dislikes his own mother so much (‘All she ever did was look at him with cold, reproving eyes. My father was always just a big disappointment to her and at times I think I’m too). Hajime feels like throwing up. Tooru is being ridiculously unfair to him.

\---

Spring is starting to fade when Tooru’s army marches through the gates of the palace. They are still not in the best of terms, (with the king acting distant and him feeling hurt during all the remaining week they had) but Hajime doesn’t want him to go.

He wants to yell and smack his husband’s forehead for being so reckless. This is not a game, and Hajime admits that the awful sensation curling on his chest with every minute passing by is fear.

He can’t do much, however, as protocol indicates that in this situations he has to remain still, clad in his best black gala robes (already dressed to mourn a husband who may not return) and bow politely when the king passes close to him.

And so he bows when Tooru’s horse reaches the gates where Hajime has been waiting for him; the protocol states that the king has to bow lightly as well and then depart. But Tooru, being Tooru, couldn’t care less about the protocol and dismounts his horse.

Tooru tilts Hajime’s head and kisses him. The kiss is urgent and demanding; it is only their second kiss but it differs vastly from the first one. Tooru pushes his mouth open with force outlining Hajime’s tongue with his own. He gasps into the kiss when he feels Tooru’s hands dragging him flush against him.

When they finally part from the kiss and are breathing raggedly, Tooru’s lips move to his left ear, “I’ll come back Hajime-chan.”

“You better,” he says gruffly and tries to suppress a shiver when the king’s mouth descends a little bit more and nips at his neck.

They are in public – the whole army, the court, and both their mothers are staring at them. Even though his face is burning in an unhealthy color of red, he doesn’t have it in him to shove Tooru away.

Tooru releases him reluctantly after a while.

It’s time for him to go.

\---

Hajime doesn’t receive any update from the army or Tooru in almost six months. He waits impatiently and asks servants, nobles, or anyone who may know something but to no avail.

Yet on one cold morning, a page boy with big scared eyes says to him, “my father is a soldier and yesterday we received a letter. He said that is almost over and that he will be home soon.”

News starts spreading fast through the lands from kingdom to kingdom. Nekoma’s army has been utterly and unequivocally defeated. In an impossible feat, Tooru has won the war in half of the time he said he would –he has achieved respect from his opponents, other kingdoms and his own people in one go.

They have begun to call him the great king as a sign of that.

\---

And yet even after eight months pass, Tooru doesn’t come back home. Hajime thinks then (dread invading his heart) that maybe all the news were just rumors and the king is still at war or as dead as their previous king.

He wakes screaming some nights (hideous dreams of blood, dirt, and Tooru’s lifeless body) and other nights he doesn’t manage a single hour of sleep.

His days pass in a blur –an ever present worry in his thoughts. Hours, minutes, seconds, all jumbling in a kaleidoscope of anxiety, fear and hope. He feels weak and feverish almost all the time now, his body aching to just lie down and rest.

“You look pale, your highness,” Kidaichi says looking worriedly at him.

“I’m fine.”

He is not. He collapses in a meeting four days after that.

Hajime wakes up again at the hushed voices of his two attendants. He is in his room and everything seems dark. He squints his eyes to focus more, but feels a little dizziness. He feels only slightly better after sleeping.

“What do you mean we shouldn’t tell him?” Kunimi whispers sternly.

“He is not well,” Kindaichi pleads.

“He needs to know.”

“He will know soon enough anyway.”

“What is it?” He rasps (his throat feels sore) from his spot on the bed.

His assistants cringe at being caught. “Nothing,” Kindaichi utters almost too quickly and Kunimi tries to hold his tongue.

But Hajime knows them well enough. Kunimi’s loyalties will be always to the bigger picture while Kidaichi’s are over little details. “Kunimi?” He asks patiently.

“The king is coming home.”

Hajime blinks then. He feels relief at hearing that but—

“There is something more?”

“Rumors say he is coming home with his first mistress and that she is pregnant. I’ve had heard that he fell in love with her ethereal beauty in the east and that… that is one of the reasons of why he has delayed in coming home.”

There is a silence until Hajime finally manages a frail “Thank you for telling me.” He then dispatches the both of them swiftly.

“I’ll call you if needed.”

They both bow (one disgruntled and the other quiet) and leave him alone.

Hajime is alone again and suddenly he is feeling angry at himself because his health has been suffering for nothing. Tooru is well, has been well all this time, fooling around with a lovely lady and making an heir with her.

He swallows hard and tells himself that the burning in his eyes is from the fever that is coming back. He shifts uncomfortably in the bed and wonders many things, but one thought always remaining at the front of all of his uncertainties is ‘How would it feel to have the soulmate mark?’

He might never know.

\---

His health improves, although not greatly. He still struggles to stand up straight in meetings (not wanting to collapse again) and to breathe properly at all hours. The fever sometimes goes alarmingly up and sometimes he thinks that if the fever doesn’t kill him, the dizziness that accompanies it will.

Nevertheless, he holds it together well enough. It is something he has to do for the kingdom entrusted in his hands and orders his assistants to not say a word about his weakening condition (the both of them nodding unwillingly at his words).

Tooru is coming home in seven days.

Tooru and his new ‘wife’ are coming home in seven days.

The king’s mother informs him of how they are to have a ball in Tooru’s honor and for the blessing of an heir so soon. She looks proud at her son’s success and Hajime thinks Tooru should be there to witness it.

She ends up their conversation with a sympathetic smile and a little pat on his back. “Don’t you worry dear, you are still his rightful husband and I’m sure he has missed you so. I’m sure this little girl of his is but a whim.”

Hajime doesn’t feel better after that, but he agrees to all her terms. The ball will be done how she wants and Hajime will smile through it.

He closes his eyes after some sessions of tenuous assemblies and grabs Kunimi’s hand (who is standing at his right) to steady himself –no one in the reading room needs to know he has been feeling sick.

The days pass faster after that.

Hajime has the celebration ready and the kingdom is well. The king will be arriving at the gates tomorrow. It doesn’t matter if Hajime is ready to see Tooru; Hajime must show at the gates to greet his husband.

Once again he waits at the gates as the protocol indicates, however, this time he has to wear white gala with touches of light blue, the color of their emblem. It’s hot since summer it’s starting; his cheeks are warm and his eyes are slightly glazed –he knows it’s because the fever is running high again.

Kindaichi and Kunimi are right behind him (always worrying) to catch him if he faints, he is grateful for them.

The first horse that passes through is white and Hajime knows him like his own –its Tooru’s horse. The king follows right after, walking in an unhurried pace. He is taller than Hajime now, all elegant moves and confident strides. He is dressed in his (gala) military uniform, a tone of light blue with touches of white.

He looks fucking gorgeous.

“Hajime-chan?”

His breath catches; he had missed that stupid voice. He vows politely again like when he had send Tooru off a year ago (as stated in the shitty protocol) and waits.

He doesn’t know what he is waiting for, but when Tooru finally takes off one of his gloves and tilts Hajime’s head with his uncovered hand, he thinks it has something to do with the quickening of his heart.

Tooru looks at him (something unreadable in his gaze) and then smiles. He kisses Hajime softly on the cheek and murmurs a cheerful, “I’m home.”

It’s their third kiss.

The king goes to his own mother then, shoulders straight as if ready for another war, and Hajime convinces himself that he is not saddened in any way by the cold greeting.

\---

That night Tooru dances with almost every lady who throws an appreciative glance his way. They are all enamored with him, batting him coy eyelashes and smiling with their pretty, pretty pink lips. As for the king, well, he has learned how to handle them efficiently. Tooru’s mistress is in the far of the room, but doesn’t seem to mind his flirty nature either.

Hajime has been observing him from his seat at the main table all the night. He hasn’t asked Hajime to dance with him even once. Tooru looks happy and oblivious and also very real; Hajime is happy for him being safe.

As another song starts, everyone cheers and claps as Tooru takes yet another partner for dancing, this time is the foreign beauty he chose as his first mistress. She is beautiful with long black hair and white skin. She dances contentedly between Tooru’s arms and laughs at every turn.

Hajime feels like he is intruding in something he shouldn’t be and stands up (the sudden movement making him lightheaded). Kindaichi is at his side immediately.

“Are you feeling well, your highness?”

He breaths hard through his nose and shakes his head, “Help me to my room.”

Kunimi rushes to his aid as well.

No one notices him leaving (save for his mother, who throws worried glances at him) and it’s for the best.

Once in his room –their room- his attendants refuse to leave him alone. “Go back,” he says tiredly to them. Everyone should be celebrating their victory over Nekoma.

But they won’t budge.

“It’s an order,” he finally mutters and they straighten up at that. They leave him with a promise of being immediately there if he were to call for them.

Hajime doesn’t call them for the rest of the night and grits his teeth at the sudden cold he feels lurking on his bones. He curls up with all the quilts in the enormous bed and expects the pain to pass away. Tooru doesn’t come to sleep that night, his side of the bed as empty as it has stayed through the whole year he was away. And maybe it is the fever or the constriction he feels around his throat every time he tries to breathe, but he can’t stop wishing for things that are not his.

\---

Tooru’s mistress is called “the white flower” because of the protocol for concubines that are to please the king. She seems very well liked by the majority of the habitants in the palace, except for Hajime’s two attendants that have made their dislike for her very clear by now. Hajime didn’t think Kunimi was capable of snarling that hard.

She roams around the halls freely at all hours (always barefoot) and they eventually bump into each other. She scurries away quickly afterwards – a mixture of fear, guilt, and pity in her gaze.

The pity is what gnaws on his nerves.

He doesn’t hate her, not really. Tooru likes her and is waiting a child with her – that’s not something he can fix. The king spends almost all of his free time with her too. Hajime has learned to call their room only his own now, as his husband doesn’t sleep there anymore.

He is managing with all the changes – just as he keeps managing the sickness that is slowly eating him away (some days are worse than other days).

Today is one of the worse, his head is pounding.

And today is also -just his fucking luck- the first day that Tooru seeks him out since returning home.

“Can we talk, Hajime-chan?” He asks distractedly playing with his hands (an indication of Tooru feeling nervous).

Hajime shrugs, “Sure.”

“Alone?”

He stops at that because Kidaichi and Kunimi are always following him around these days. He has gotten used to it by now –he thinks of them as his own shadow. They are also a support whenever the illness threatens to engulf him whole.

He looks at them and sighs, nodding his answer.

They look at the king with wariness (and dislike) and then bow to him before leaving Hajime on his own.

“They have taking a liking to you.”

“Yes.”

“Hana-chan says they are scary and mean.”

Hajime snorts because of course this is about Hana-chan. He shrugs again, “I know how to deal with them.”

“Are you sure?” Tooru questions with a hint of worry on his tone. The king’s careful fingers angle Hajime’s head up. “You look pale,” he adds looking at his face.

Hajime fights the urge to bat the king’s hand away.

“I could always give you new attendan—”

This time Hajime does pull away and Tooru recoils his hand at the obvious rejection (hurt evident in his eyes). Hajime had never leaned away from the casual touches the king had always been prone give him. A heavy silence clings to them after that.

“I don’t need new attendants,” Hajime says too forcefully, “tell your Hana-chan that I appreciate her concern but is not her place to interfere with my affairs.”

Hajime has never needed to pull rank before, even less with Tooru of all people, but he is feeling faint. His legs are trembling and his stomach is trying to bring back the light food he had for breakfast.

Tooru’s lips thin in a straight line. “It’s not her place but I have enough authority to interfere.”

His gaze is becoming blurry. “Just fuck off.” Hajime growls. He needs his attendants now, because he doesn’t think he will be able to stand on his own for much longer.

Tooru bits his lower lip with enough force to draw blood. “Fine,” he glowers back before storming off.

Kindaichi and Kunimi are at his side just after Tooru leaves. They steady him and guide him to his next obligation of the morning.

“You should rest,” Kunimi says after the brief assembly is done.

“I want to go to the fourth garden,” he says struggling to breathe.

And as always they obey.

He manages to inhale properly once there. The fresh air burning his lungs makes him feel better. He goes to sit under the shade of his favorite tree and orders Kindaichi to cancel all of his other conferences for the day. He also calls for the head gardener who immediately goes to see what the queen needs.

“Your majesty,” the head gardener bows at him. He is a young man with a laid back expression and clear abundant love for plants.

“Your name is Matsukawa right?” Hajime asks.

The man nods.

“Your job,” he says gesturing towards all the well-kept flowers and perfectly trimmed vegetation. “is beautiful.”

“Thank you,” the man answers with something close to a smile.

“I need you to tell me something.”

The man looks attentively at him. “Yes?”

“Has someone else been here recently?”

Something hesitant passes through the man’s relaxed expression. He shifts from one foot to another before resolutely meeting Hajime’s eyes. “The king.”

Here comes the difficult part, but he has come so far already and there is no use in stepping back. “Alone?”

Matsukawa seems to ponder on his answer once again. “A young lady came with him once but they didn’t stay for long. I don’t think they even entered properly – they were standing at the doorway.”

Hajime closes his eyes and nods, something cold and awful churning inside him (anger and something else he doesn’t dare to name). ‘Well… it’s only fair’ he thinks bitterly, before saying “I need another favor from you.”

\---

“Why?” Tooru asks quietly, as if afraid to be heard.

“Why what?”

“You had it closed.”

“My garden?”

“Our garden,” the king’s voice breaks a little and Hajime finally looks at him. Truth to be told, the king looks like shit, the idiot –he is thinner than usual and has heavy bags under his eyes as proof of his long periods of overwork.

Not that Hajime looks any better, really (the fucking sickness refuses to leave him alone).

“My garden,” Hajime reiterates, feeling the keys of the doorways of the fourth garden hanging heavy from his silver chain along with an aquamarine stone he has never taken off. It is not theirs – it is his. “I don’t want to share it.”

“Hajime-chan,” Tooru clenches his fists and Hajime thinks he is getting ready to fight, ready to draw blood with only his words if necessary.

It will be a useless struggle. “Don’t.”

The king sighs –a long painful jittery sound.

“Your visitors are here,” the counselor announces between the oppressing silence constricting them. Subsequently Karasuno’s royal guard starts filling the throne room one by one. High ranking officials, all cladded in black, bow before them as an indication of good will and respect. The Karasuno court enters next and lastly the crown prince and two of his most loyal advisors.

They both stand up from their previous sitting positions at the far end of the room. Tooru lips turn up in one of the fakest smiles he has ever given since Karasuno is one of his least favorite associates. He still blames them for taking his father from him.

Hajime sighs (ignoring how his vision is becoming blurry progressively fast) and welcome’s their guests efficiently.

He shakes the crown prince hand –a young black haired male with a scowl– and tries to keep up with the talks about taxes, frontier borders, and new alliances but he can’t quite concentrate.

“Are you alright?” The crown prince asks him vaguely concerned and everything goes to hell afterwards.

Hajime loses consciousness in the second part of the conference, but Kunimi and Kindaichi are not fast enough to catch him this time. He hears uproar and sees Tooru’s concerned expression while desperately calling for him. He is dimly aware of the king shouting something and of gentle hands pressing on his forehead.

His last clear thoughts before all goes black are: he is being held in someone’s lap, he is still in the throne room with a group of strangers, and he is probably dying.

\---

“A soulmate is someone who will be bound to you as long as you live. Everyone in this world has one and a unique mark branding their skin. However, for those who never get a mark, life is really unfortunate. They are given the option nobody else in the world has, the option to choose whom to love and yet… and yet their name always appears on a random person’s skin. It’s really cruel you know, because they get trapped with this person even if they do not love them—”

“Tooru—”

Hajime is vaguely aware he is not dead yet, but everything hurts and the king is talking extremely quickly about something and by the sound of his voice he must be really stressed about it too.

“No please, let me finish. I need you to understand; when I was in the east I heard a lot of stories of unmarked people having a really unhappy life and then I saw this little bird in a jail that some wandering sellers were offering. And I really liked it, I thought I would buy it and bring it back with me but then I looked at its eyes and I-I… understood why unmarked people were so sad, I also thought of you and about how the bird really wanted be free and I just…”

“Tooru please look at me,” Hajime pleads but the king (who is sitting close to Hajime’s bed, their bed) refuses to meet his eyes.

“I mean I always supposed you were happy here and I, of course I was never going to force you to love me or do anything you were uncomfortable with, I was happy by just having you by my side. I only kissed you when were fourteen because I thought it was the only time I would be able to but then with the war… for all the confidence I tried to project, I thought maybe I wasn’t going to make it and I, I wanted you so bad, I couldn’t help it—”

“Hmm, he is awake?” Another voice interrupts Tooru’s agitated speech then. “I told you to not bother him too much.”

“I wasn’t.” The king protests softly, looking insolently at the owner of the mysterious voice, who is coming closer to where Hajime is resting.

“Look, I know you are worried but I need to check on him so please kindly refrain from fussing too much, ‘kay?”

“You are so mean to me Makki-chan.”

A healer, Hajime thinks nebulously at hearing the name ‘Makki-chan’. He is well known in all of Aobajousai for being the best.

“Well, how do you feel?” The healer hovering above him asks.

Hajime licks his lips slowly before answering with a truthful, “Like shit.”

The healer snickers at that. “Yeah well, side effects of the medicine.”

“Is it…? Am I not sick anymore?”

“You still are, but you will recover.”

Tooru looks at him at this; he looks like he is ready to burst into tears. “I’m sorry Hajime-chan, I’m really sorry for making you sick.”

“What?” Hajime guesses his mind is working slower than usual, thanks to the drugs the healer must have given him so it’s only normal for him not to follow the conversation.

“What he means is that he is to blame for your current condition.”

“What?” He repeats again because he is not sure how Tooru has anything to do with his sickness.

“You are sick because Tooru here has been rejecting your soul-bond, I mean I’m more of a specialist in other kinds of sickness, like the usual ones, infections and shit but I know enough about bonds … so um yeah.”

“I’m not really…I don’t understand.”

The healer scratches his neck thoughtfully before nodding to himself. “I’ll explain it as simply as I can. When you get a soulmate you bond with them forever – sometimes the bond is weak, sometimes the bond is strong – although in the long run that isn’t as important. What really matters here is that the bond can stretch or change or tingle but under any circumstances it shouldn’t break because if it does…well have you heard the ‘until death do us part, right?”

“You mean if the soul-bond breaks someone dies?”

“Yes, but of course the person who dies isn’t the one breaking the bond.”

Hajime frowns sluggishly at the new information, “But I don’t have a mark.”

“It doesn’t really matter, at least not in your case, because your bond with our idiot-king is one of the strongest I’ve ever seen.”

“But why?” Tooru (who had been listening quietly all the while) finally questions, his voice low. “Isn’t the bond supposed to work only with soulmates?”

The healer sighs. “You two are dumb. The bond works with people who are in love.”

Hajime closes his eyes at that. Of course he is in love with Tooru, he had always known but he had never wanted to accept it. His heart feels heavy and his face feels hot –he doesn’t know what he is supposed to do with this new information.

And about Tooru feeling the same…

“Hajime-chan,” He opens his eyes at the king’s voice. “I-I have been an idiot all this time it’s just that I thought that if I... I let you go you would be happier. I never thought you would get sick. Hana-chan—”

Hajime stiffens at the name. “I don’t want—” He really doesn’t want hear about her right now.

Tooru shakes his head and his eyes are starting to fill with tears. “Hana-chan and I – we are not like that. Her child is not mine, I’ve never touched her or anyone else, I found her at the border starving and pregnant. I thought maybe if I brought her back with me and tried to pretend to care for her, you would stop feeling obligation towards me and…leave.”

“Why?”

“Because unmarked people are supposed to be able to choose whom to love!”

“Tooru?”

“I just love you so, so much Hajime.” Tooru finally admits and he is crying now (ugly fat drops of salt water and nose full of snot).

Tooru is an idiot, a real big fucking dumbass.

“You have always been such an awful crier,” Hajime says exasperatedly trying to mask the fondness in his voice, ”just come here you idiot-king.”

And Tooru does. He says sorry again and again clutching at Hajime tightly. ‘I love you’ ‘I love you’ ‘I love you’ The king repeats as if he might die if he doesn’t let Hajime know about how he feels.

“I love you too,” Hajime says simply because he can finally admit it out aloud and when Tooru finally kisses him slow and tender, he thinks maybe he can at least stop counting their kisses now.

“Well isn’t it nice? I mean now you can jump to the hot make up sex and start fixing the bond. Also don’t worry about me, I’m good with any kind of porn including male on male action,” the healer chirps sunnily from the side of their bed.

Tooru throws a pillow at him.

The healer squeaks and Hajime laughs because he is still sore as hell and his limbs feel lethargic but make up sex sounds alright. It sounds amazing really, especially with how Tooru is breathing hotly on his neck.

So Hajime closes his eyes and sighs at the feeling of Tooru’s cold fingers seeping under his shirt. He thinks about a boy who looked nothing like a king eight years ago, he thinks about how he fell stupidly and utterly in love with him, he thinks about how that boy shines brightly every day in his heart, he thinks about forever and about not having a mark.

He thinks how about that same boy loves him back.

And about how he would choose him again if he was to be born unmarked once more in their next life.

\---

This love, it is a distant star (guiding us home wherever we are).  
This love, it is a burning sun (shining light on the things that we've done).

**Author's Note:**

> 'White flower' would be traduced as Shirohana, that's why Oikawa calls the girl Hana-chan.
> 
> I hate editing but I had to fix some things, like the Aobajousai/Aobajosai I used through the story, I finally settled in Aobajousai.
> 
> Also I just… this story differed vastly from the original plotline I had planned, it just wouldn’t behave no matter how much I tried, haha (in the end I had three different plotlines outlined. The first one involved Kageyama as a more important piece kinda like a second soulmate to Hajime but then the story would have been way too long, the third one was too sad to even consider it (Iwa-chan wouldn’t have made it, I think)… in the end I stuck up with the second plotline and that’s what I wrote.
> 
> As for the handling of the character I hope I did them justice somehow and I do realize it ended up being more Oiiwa than Iwaoi but uh yeah, it just went there without me putting too much attention in it.
> 
> And finally as a fun fact, the story of the first king of Aobajousai was inspired in free, I mean as I wrote I thought about it and... (Makoto was the king…guess who was the ocean?)
> 
> Also thanks for Reading!


End file.
